Human
by Neverland Child
Summary: How Erik felt after the movie. Disclamer: I do not own 'Human' by Ellie Goulding. My first songfic, so plz R


The mob had destroyed the lair. They burned his music, crushed his organ... The lair looked like all Hell had broken lose. Erik had to see this sight... and how much it pained him to see it.

Erik walked over to the small stage he built. It had been burned. Erik kneeled down to the ashes and began brushing them away. He found the small figure of Christine singing 'Think of Me.' He only stared at it, remembering all the joy and pain she had brought him. Fire began to burn in his eyes and he snapped the figure in half. Seeing what he had done, he collapse on the ground, hot tears in his eyes

_(Human behave yourself, you have burst at the seams, let it all fall out, open you mouth)_

Erik let the broken doll fall into the ashes. He pulled himself to his feet and stumbled up to the swan bed. The mob had at least left this one thing alone. He fell on to the red cover, not caring to slip underneath them.

He just lay there, staring at the ceiling. He began to think of all the things he could have done. He could have made Christine a famous singer, he could have started a family with her as his wife. But he let her go.

_(Often I lie awake, think of the things I could make, but I don't seem to have the parts to build them)_

Erik place his hands of his head, trying to forget Christine. Why couldn't she just leave him? A blurry vision of someone came into Erik's head. It was Christine. Her beautiful face looking at him. Erik angrily rubbed his hands over his deformed face. The vision of Christine began to fade. They last thing that disappeared was her eyes, that were a sea of emotion. She did not know emotion; not like he did.

_(Human I wonder why you're a better make then I could ever build or create, you know not love or hate)_

He slowly sat up and sighed in pure pain. He swung his legs over the bed's edge and stood. Erik stared at the mess his home was in. He felt scared. What was going to happen to him? Was he going to die under the Opera House? He began to think of the what he'd done... What Christine had done...

_(I am so scared of what will kill me in the end for I am not prepared, I hope I will get the chance to be someone, to be human. Look what we've done, look what we've done)_

Erik walked blindly over the his crushed organ. He moved away the wood and keys to revel a lose brick. He pulled it out and there was a small compartment. He pulled out a small box and opened it to see a glistening dagger. He stared at it, just wondering if he should bring it to an end...

_(I would give my life, to be human. I would give my life, to be human. I would give my life, to be human. I would give my life, to be...)_

Erik looked back at the compartment. It had a bottle full of wine, something he would only drink in time like this. But this time, he did not touch the bottle. He wanted to change, come clean, be a better man.

_(Human I'm trying to come clean, I will be a better me, I will not drink until I'm dead, I'll make the most of it)_

The once 'Opera Ghost' leaned against the crushed organ. He felt as if life had left him, but his heart was still beating. He thought of Christine. She was the only thing that gave him life he ever had. Erik just wanted to cry, but no tears would escape his eyes.

_(I don't know what it's like to be alive, to say goodby, to cry a thousand tears because my ears won't listen)_

Erik shook his head. He needed to stop thinking about Christine. But she wouldn't leave, he didn't want to lose faith in her. He head seen everything through her. He saw life, light... love.

_(Human I'm trying not to lose my faith in you, I've sussed_ _out all that I've seen through you, I've sailed an ocean)_

Erik sighed as he touched his deformed face. He wonder what he would look like in the end? He would probably look like he did now, only worse. Oh what he'd give to be someone...

_(I am so scared of what I'll look like in the end, For I am not prepared, I hope I will get the chance to be someone, to be human. Look what we've done, look what we've done)_

The Phantom's gaze fell back onto to the dagger. He reach out to it and wrapped his large hand over the handle. He just wanted to be human, and the only way to do that was to die.

_(I would give my life, to be human. I would give my life, to be human. I would give my life, to be human. I would give my life, to be human)_

Erik felt his eyes close as he still held the dagger. He began to think of what use to happen to him. He would write music, sing... He would hear his heart breaking each night.

_(I use to hear it all so loud, the sound of my heart breaking, the truth is waiting to be found, I trust that I will take)_

Erik felt a single tear slid down his face. He opened his tearing eyes and looked down at the dagger. He felt so tempted to drive it through his heart, if it was the only way...

_(I would give my life... I would give my life...human. I would give my life...human._ _I would give my life... human. I would give my life, to be human. I would give my life, to be human. I would give my life, to be human. I would give my life, to be human)_

The tears fell faster from his eyes as he lifter the dagger above his chest. His hand shook violently has he held it above him. He finally let it fall to the ground. The sound it made echoed through at the lair. Erik had his head down, crying softly. He looked up and said into the darkness:

"Why die now? I have my whole life ahead of me to become human."

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**So, do you like? There's a link to the song on my profile :)**

**Review?**


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